Tuesday, January 6, 2009

On McGuyvering

I am emotionally and physically atypical. I carry pain meds and 'rescue' anxiety meds with me almost everywhere, though I use the latter very sparingly. However, I can manage in the *strangest* situations- where the average 'normal' would fear to tread.

I call this McGuyvering.

Down to the wire, faced with miles of red tape and governmental ins and outs? I got it.

24 hours notice to do a speech in front of 100+ people? I got it.

Asking for help in a store? I so don't got it.

Pain, too is subject to these weird abilities to manage or work someting out.

Tattoo? No problem

7 Major surgeries and counting? Hurts, but gotta do it.

Dentist? Only if my blankie is coming too.

But the funniest bit of my McGuyvering absolutely has to be when it goes wrong. Some things physical I cannot do- such as get on my new and very cute Emu brand boots. However, I can walk down the stairs with a load of laundry, a cellphone, and a butterfly cane. My computer is also my attachment to the world, so I'm very resourceful when it comes to Her Ladyship (It's even her name on the network, okay?)

So I lose a key on Her Ladyship's keyboard- my V key, if anyone is curious. Normally, these snap right back on. but V does not seem to be doing it. Nothing daunted, I pop off another key, my M key for those of you playing along at home. It looks the same, and also refuses to snap back into its happy little spot.

Next, off comes the Y key- Aha! There is a little plastic assembly that holds the key in place, henceforth known as Circle Thing and Rectangle Thing. Rectangle Thing is still attached to the keyboard itself. Circle Thing? Well, it's somewhere on my bed. I find Circle Thing, replace my Y key and pop off every writer's favourite; our friend semicolon. Semicolon is a wonderfully co-operative little key and shows me exactly how Rectangle Thing and Circle Thing are supposed to nestle inside of each other so the key can come home.

With spastic fingers, but a few deep breaths, I set out to reunite Rectangle Thing, Circle Thing, and my V key and M key. I've almost got it when....


One of the little, teeny tiny ridges that holds ON to Rectangle Thing, perhaps feeling ignored, snaps off. I lay aside my keys and sigh- This is a job for the happy people at Dell it seems.

However, beloved Lady still assures me that the reason I am the ABSOLUTE McGuyver is that I can type with very little interruption and use the little "keyboard nubbies."

1 comment:

Lisa said...

You are a woman of many talents! I am impressed!
I like my blankie at the dentist too.