Frick, frick , frick... Breathing in and out, because it seems to be the only thing I can do right, lately.

So okay. Big brain dump in the post the other day, and I really, really bigtime appreciate all the loves. But right now I'm kinda mad and need a safe place to jump up and down (figuratively, I mean, having never actually jumped up and down in my 24 years on the planet.)

I work with a fantastic, yet underfunded, organization. I do presentations for them. I occasionally get a stipend for doing said presentations. It's brilliant.

A week or so ago I went to meet with a second organization about doing a presentation tacked on to, or perhaps in to, their Paralympic events. So I was given two evening slots, told that they'd do some of the promotion for me, and that I was to do some on my own.

Now, I *did* do some on my own, but I've also had the world coming down about my freaking ears. So I thought "Okay, I'll just go with organization #2s kids, it'll be grand, and get my foot in the door with them."

Not *once* did someone from Org. 2. check in with me to see how things were going or to tell me that registration for my first talk (tonight) was going *infintessimally* slow. (I don't even know if that's spelled right, but it looks...kind of right.

As they were handling, on their end, registration for this event, I feel that someone could have at least dropped me an e-mail, though I admit that I could have done the same.

Just now, I called to be all responsible and get a headcount.

I've got 1 person. 1. Maybe.

I acknowledge that I didn't have a whole lot of success in promoting this, but I also got no help or contact. And Org 2 was the one I was hoping to work for full time in the very near future!

There's got to be a break in these clouds somewhere. There's just got to be....

I'm still here...

Still working away at filing

Still hurting like the dickens- This is now week 3 of the most *monster* flare I have ever had. Have alerted the docs, but there's not a whole lot they can do other than play around with my med dosing, which, I will confess to you, I had been doing already. The benefits and drawbacks of having done this before!

I have a wedding to attend on July 24, and will post pictures of Lady and myself in our finery....

Am at home again, but things, for the moment, appear to be going smoothly....

PS: To the Hoover Mom: It's coming along nicely :) And to a mailbox near you within the next...week? I hope?

I didn't realise it had been so long....

I've started a summer job, Lady secured her first office job. My education funding is secure, and I'll be seeking counselling in the fall as well as tutoring. I do so dearly want to graduate.

I'm having a really bad pain flare which has lasted since Monday, June 22, and there's no end in sight. Lots of medicine. Just like work is lots of filing.

But things are brighter

Okay...

So I tried to spend the week at home, and I just couldn't do it. Trooped back to Lady's bag and baggage- I sleep better here.

Am slowly beginning to sort out the mess and misery of school- I can do this. E-mailed an Aunt who told me I have handled so many things in my life with grace, courage and intelligence that it is understandable that I should stumble now and then.

Got some really good news today- I have been selected for the Summer position I interviewed for. I will be working in a provincial government department through a program that employs students with disabilities.

I miss my usual summer activity of the National Youth Exchange, but it's not going ahead this year. No funding.

I'm reading and smiling along with so many of you. Thank you all for being here for me.